The Do’s and Don’ts of Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
By Cade Hollingsworth
The year is 2021. You see on the news that a disease has broken out, but you know the truth. That’s no disease. That is the zombie infection, and you are now entering . . . the Zombie Apocalypse. Here are a few tips that may help you when the quest for survival becomes your entire life.
Do: ~Find a safe place, unless being devoured sounds like something you’d want to try.
~Keep at least three human brains on you at all times. You might get a little hungry later on.
~Find some strong friends. Face it, you ain’t getting out of this thing alive with those inferior weaklings beside you. If you must have one weak friend, hold onto them for a time when the zombies get really hungry.
~Find a source of clean water so that you can successfully keep your succulents alive.
~Take an axe-throwing class before, just in case you happen to come across an axe at some point.
~Gain a sense of patriotism. Zombies hate that sort of thing.
~Spend time with family and friends before this happens. That way, you’ll know their weak spots for when they become infected.
~Bring your handy dandy Bob Ross VHS tapes so that you don’t get too lonely.
Simply, Don’t: ~Die. It’s been proven fatal and very bad for your health.